Sunday, February 21, 2016

Cry Me A River

I know alot of people who seem to cry easily: out of compassion, out of anger, out of frustration, out of loneliness, out of fear, out of sadness, or out of excitement.   Crying is really not something that comes easy for me.  This week, however, has been wrecked with all kinds of emotional tears.  Let me share a few of the details with you.

Sadness:  I said my earthly goodbyes to a dear sweet friend a couple of weeks ago.  It was hard.  This week I wanted so bad to see her or to pick up the phone and call her--but I couldn't.  I did the dreaded job of deleting her contact from my phone book.  It made me cry.  It also made me thankful that she knew Christ and that her name was written down in God's Book of Life--that, folks, can NOT be deleted!  Praise the Lord!  

Joy:  One of my children called me this week and said some very sweet and humbling things to me.  The words "respect, admire, I love you, I just wish you were here, I wouldn't be the person I am today" were all a part of our conversation and it made me cry--you know the one: the suck-in-your-breath, snotty-nosed, lip-quivering, ugly-faced cry.  That moment made the difficulty of single parenting SO worth it!  Glory to God!

Thankfulness:  I had a few tears this week as one of my sons FINALLY got engaged to a sweet girl that has been so good for him.  Three days later, this same child was injured in an accidental shooting.  I am so thankful to God that He showed mercy to my child and that He spared his life and serious, serious injury.  It was good to lay eyes on him and to see for myself that he is on his way to recovery.  My son has assured me that the two incidents are not related.  Thank you Merciful God!

Frustration:  This has been a hard one.  I started a new job recently with our local 911 ambulance service.  I am currently on supervised "ride outs".  I've been more than frustrated learning the system, the geography for the 1000 square miles we cover (not easy--please put your house number somewhere visible), and trying to remember everything I'm suppose to do and the order in which to do it.  There's so much to know and learn. It's been overwhelming and while being trained, I'm being judged and criticized (sometimes constructive, sometimes it doesn't feel constructive).  I finally had my meltdown (at home not at work).  My poor husband!  He was so sweet to listen to me blabber on as I cried and vented my frustrations.  I CAN say without a doubt though that God has me in this job, with this trainer, at this very moment for my good and may I humbly offer, for HIS Glory.  Bless the Lord!

Compassion:  This week I had the honor to sing at church with my almost 90 year old father-in-law who has dementia.  He has sang his entire life and used his voice in service to the Lord.  Words are getting harder for him these days and his strength is failing fast.  It made me cry knowing that this was his last time to sing at Church. I am grateful I got to be a small part of it.  
Our conversation in front of the church, sitting on the piano bench together:
Sr.  "What are we gonna do?"
Me.  "We're gonna sing a song"
Sr.  "What are we gonna sing?"
Me.  "I'll Fly Away.  You gonna sing with me?"
Sr.  "OK"
Simple conversation but it brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you Lord for this sweet man of God!

Conviction:  Oh what a wonderful message my Pastor preached tonight from I Corinthians 2:1-5.  My whole week was in his preaching.  I cried as I was encouraged and admonished by the Word of God to not get caught up in myself, my strength, or the strength of others but to stand strong in my faith through the power of God's Word. I have no need to fear for God is with me every step of the way.   1 Cor 2:5 "That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God".  Bless His Holy Name!

May your week be blessed with love and laughter and may you find encouragement each day through God's Word and the Power of His Name!

Ps 86:12  I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart:  and I will glorify thy name for evermore."